This Saturday morning my intentions were to sleep late but I was awakened at the @ss crack of dawn by the irritating squeals of my beautiful offspring. Since I’m up I check out some Saturday morning kiddie shows and begin to wonder how many of the show’s stars may have a secret criminal background. Kid show stars are humans too, right? Just because they provide G-rated entertainment doesn’t necessarily mean they have a G-rated lives when they’re off the clock. I’m not one to prejudge but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these peeps appear on the news tonight. Here are some characters I look at with a slightly raised eyebrow.
This show is odd anyway but this character is especially disturbing. Why does his chin make me cringe? Robbie seems like he has a secret sex chamber stocked with a variety of nipple clamps and latex bodysuits… WAIT! This pic is suspicious also.
Hmmmm… Ok, the verdict is in. That isn’t a young girl it’s really a 37 year old madame from Russia.
• DJ Lance Rock
Love ya, Lance but I think you are a hustla. But not the typical street corner bum, I can see Lance slangin’ designer drugs to supermodels and moguls from Abu Dubai. Look at that pic. He looks like he’s saying “Pssst, I got that new sh!t, fresh outta the lab. I’m calling it Foofa. ”
I don’t mean to pick on the few brothas in children’s entertainment but I bet Gordon from Sesame Street is running an illegal afterhours spot. His joint would have liquor flowing all night, a couple C-Low games going, scalawag chicks twerking it and a dude doing tattoos in the back. lol And I just found out Gordon’s real life name is Roscoe. Yep, “Roscoe’s Boom-Boom Room” !
Initially, I predicted the lanky White guy that calls himself a rapper (“Twist”) would be arrested for getting drunk and streaking but this whole crew looks like they’d let loose at a frat party. The Fresh Beat Band will be featured on the remix of LMFAO and Lil Jon’s ‘Shots’. “Shots, shots, shots….Everybodaaayyy!”