“You’re gonna love my nuts!”

This entry was brought on by my newborn, whose favorite hour seems to be 4am.

It’s a little known fact that one of my quirky guilty pleasures is infomercials. Wikipedia sums up infomercials as: “long-format television commercials, typically five minutes or longer. Infomercials are also known as paid programming(or teleshopping in Europe).” I first became aware of infomericals during the hours when local television networks “went off” for the night. (Yes, I remember the days when the National Anthem would play right before we heard the dreaded “beeeeeeep” accompanied by colorful blocked screen. I also remember the days when the Home Shopping Network replaced this.) Today, infomercials are as main stream as reality tv so I have countless guilty pleasure options.   I regularly check out infomericals but have never actually ordered anything though I’ve heard the phrase “Call now!” barked a million times. I will admit to having several former informerical products that have landed on store shelves (i.e. the Foreman Grill and the Ped Egg). Some of the products look great on television, just not great enough for me to order. However if I see it in the store I feel more comfortable snatching it up. Weird, I know. 

Besides the convienent air times and interesting products, informericals draw me in with the notoriously bad actors and ‘hosts’, which are more like hypemen.  These characters are usually so horrible that it’s entertaining. Like I said there are countless infomericals but here are a few product mentions that stand out to me for various reasons: 

Designer Snuggies

We’ve all seen the “backwards robe”/”blanket with sleeves” called the Snuggie. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse they hit us with the funky garanimal prints. You’ll be the coolest couch potato on the block with this “designer” version. lol 

Hip Hop Abs

If you saw my belly right now it’d be quite obvious that I do not have any of these exercise videos but I have most definitely watched Shaun T. flexing and pelvic lunging. *growl*

Ab Circle Pro

I snicker a lot when I see this product in use. Don’t ask how but this machine looks like it has x-rated potential.

 Slap Chop

The already funny Slap Chop infomercials was made hilarious by DJ Steve Porter:

LMAO! I wonder how they got Turbo and Ozone to appear in this infomercial. They look great! 🙂

It wouldn’t be proper to have an entry about infomercials without saying
R.I.P. Billy Mays.


5 thoughts on ““You’re gonna love my nuts!”

  1. Haha… classic. And yeah, I need my own Hip-Hop Abs. I think right now, I just have Soft R&B abs.

    One day, I saw the old wrestler Leaping Lanny Poffo selling something… and that’s when I knew I’d watched enough TV for the night.


    • n/p Peaches. Would you believe they’ve started to air snippets of the ‘remix’ as an actual commerical? lol *smh*

  2. I saw that slap chop infomercial in the breakroom and nearly choked on my lunch when he said “you’re gonna love my nuts”! I saw the designer Snuggie in Target and a little bit of vomit came up. *shudders*

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